marriage counseling - Attitude, moods & behaviour

• In marriage counseling, anger is often seen to cause people to say or do stupid things. Anger can reduce your social inhibitory mechanism and endanger your partner, physically and emotionally.
• Worry and nervousness can be crippling, physically and emotionally
• Sadness can shut you down and prevent you from doing things you should be doing.
• All negative moods will eventually effect your immunity system.

You can't stop a negative mood from coming but what you can do is control how long you experience it, and the first step is recognizing that you have that power. Research has shown that some of the most positive people were that way because they refuse to accept negative moods.

Its important for you to understand that you are not a slave to your moods and that you have the power to change your feelings at an instant. Its important to notice what you feel, but the moment you notice it, do something about it, don't dwell on it. The way you can stop it from changing your normal behavior is by recognizing the "why". When you realize why you are feeling what you are, then you will realize that you are no longer a slave to your mood. A research carried out by the Duke University, North Carolina (USA), found that people who suffer from extreme mood swings, will benefit from writing down their feelings as they happen, and was shown to be an effective way of developing self awareness. Once they got their feelings down on the paper, they were able to then move on to the next stage of analysis.

Once you experience a specific mood, the worst thing you could do is to indulge your mood. for example, if you are feeling sad, the last thing you should do is to listen to a sad song, or if you are angry, for you to shout and scream as the adrenaline continues to pump up your body and it prolongs the rage. Instead, you should find an activity that forces the body to pitch at the opposite level of what you are experiencing. So if you are feeling sad, watch a comedy or listen to cheerful music.

Dr. Israel Waynbaum, a french physiologist, has found that facial expressions trigger specific brain neurotransmitters, which have direct effect on the person's mood. Even a fake smile produces hormones that stabilize your blood pressure, improve respiration and reduce pain.