Coping with stress is a vital skill to possess in ensuring the success of a relationship. A marriage counselor aims to alleviate the feeling of stress between a couple by using techniques that have been shown to be effective in reducing the tension that inevitably exists when a relationship breaks down. The skill used for Coping with Stress is not solely restricted to the remits of a marriage counseling session. It is also a skill necessary to the well being of an individual, both physically and emotionally.
Avoiding stress altogether in a modern society is not a realistic expectation to have of an individual, which makes learning to cope with stress all the more important. The Divorce Rate also indicates that there exists a direct correlation between the stresses experienced due to lifestyle, work and social pressures and the failure of a relationship.
Coping with stress
Coping with stress is not always easy, but there are steps that can be followed which have been shown to reduce the effects of stress. These include:
- What is stress
The secret to coping with stress lies within the mastery over ones own thoughts and its subsequent perception of the world around us. Negative thoughts leading to tension will inevitably have physical consequences due to what psychologists refer to as the "Fight or Flight" mechanism. When a situation is perceived as "threatening" then the nervous system reacts by energising the muscles ready for action. This survival mechanism induces tension in the muscles to help prepare an individual for "fight" or escape (also called "Flight"). If this survival mechanism is triggered without the muscles reacting accordingly, as is usually the case for the modern lifestyle where the primary threats are of the psychological nature, then these tensions without an ensued physical reaction will inevitably lead to what is commonly referred to as Stress. For this reason it is highly recommended that psychologically stressful situations are counteracted by physical activity. This will prevent the "Fight or Flight" mechanism from becoming harmful to the body.
- Understanding the implications and consequences of stress.
Most people associate stress with a Nervous Breakdown, which is only the psychological aspect of repeated exposure to stress. In addition to this psychological reaction, there are also physiological side effects associated with stress, including Intestinal, Cardiovascular and Immunological afflictions. It is therefore vitally important to recognising that stress is a slow killer, and one that creeps up on people. By recognising that stress is a slow killer, the seriousness of the consequences of stress will become more paramount.
- The cause of stress
It is important to identify the cause of stress and in doing so the ability to control the way the mind perceives a threat. The most common incitements for stress are the lifestyle, relationship and family, work, money etc. It is therefore vital to learn to recognise the induced stress and then ask "what am I feeling about this situation that's making me so tense?". (Remember, to set aside some "me" time to ensure you can analyse feelings and thoughts).
- Acceptance
Considering stress is a reaction to a perceived threat, it also then becomes possible to control stress by wilfully electing not to perceive the threat as such. Naturally, it is impossible to avoid stressful situations, but our perception of the threat is within our control, and in doing so it is possible to prevent the triggering of the body's survival instinct from that lead to stress. One effective way of controlling how a stressful situation is viewed would be through Acceptance, where a person believes that everything will eventually turn out fine. This Acceptance has been shown to have a dramatic effect on reducing the stress experienced.
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Marriage counseling information designed to help guide couples in choosing a suitable therapist. There are currently a number of different approaches to therapy and as such it is important for a couple to choose the approach that they feel is the suitable.
This Divorce Checklist will provide couples with a list of the more important things to consider. However, it is important to point out that divorce should only be considered as a last resort, and only when all other avenues of reconciliation have been explored and been unable to help.
Understand the effects of divorce on children and what they may be feeling. Also, what the parents should be doing to help the children cope with the divorce.
PEYMA's Relationship Questionnaire is desinged to provide Relationship Counseling without a need to attend any counseling sessions. This approach is able to provide an insight into the root cause of a behavioural conflict, as well as, how to behave in order to be more compatible.
Signs of Infidelity can help expose a relationship betrayal before it gets too involved, therefore improving the chances of recovery. Identifying these signs correctly is vital as any misjudgement can in itself lead to marital disputes and feelings of mistrust.
Recovering from infidelity is not going to be easy, but an experienced therapist can help with overcoming this affliction. It is important to recognise that a person will never forget what has taken place, but it is possible to rebuild the trust and move on.
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