Marriage Counseling - Influencing your partner

As human beings, we are far more likely to want to help the people we like than someone we are suspicious of. As such, influencing your partner should be planned in advance, by you first ensuring that your partner is feeling "loved". One way to do this is by doing your partner "favours" before you start the "influencing". Do be advised that if your partner feels you are doing things to please him to get something in return then the chances are your partner will eventually become suspicious of you and loose trust altogether. It is IMPORTANT to do favours without being seen as though you are or that you want anything in return.

If you are influencing your partner to ask for something big, its advisable that you don't come right out and ask what ever it is that you want. You should approach it bit by bit so that your partner has time to adjust to it gradually.

People are less likely to feel they are taking a chance if they know they are going to benefit from a decision. Therefore influencing your partner, it is important that you demonstrate the benefits of what is being suggested.

Most people fear the unknown, therefore it is far better to reassure your partner when influencing them by demonstrating how others have also done the same thing and no harm has come to them. Use friends and relatives if possible as examples.

Influencing through fear does not mean threatening your partner or making them feel threatened. Most people fear loss more than the unknown. Therefore by demonstrating what they have to loose can sometimes help to influence your partner's decision.

It is important to resist the temptation to "force" your partner to do what you want. This domineering behavior will eventually result in conflict and resentment.