Marriage Counseling - making up

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Marriage counseling aims to help couples facing relationship break down to achieve reconciliation, however the traditional approach to marriage counseling can be a complicated process as a marriage counselor will first need to determine the root cause of a relationship break down, followed by a way to promote couples reconcile their differences. Couples on the verge of divorce or breaking up often reach a point where an impartial trained behavioral analyst or a marriage counselor becomes a necessity to act as the catalyst for the making up. In order to promote this reconciliation the marriage counselor will encourage each partner to forget personal pride, establish respect, Reciprocal Persuasion and finally be humble towards the other.

Forget personal pride

The trivial arguments if not carefully managed could potentially become harmful to a relationship as the anger felt by each partner could become all consuming and reach a point where the couple loose objectivity and winning the argument becomes a question of pride. When pride rears its ugly head in an argument, regardless of how trivial the argument may be, it will inevitably result in feelings of resentment and retaliation. For this reason it is vital to recognise in oneself when an argument is being fuelled by pride, and in doing so control the desire to win the argument at any cost.

Establish respect

Establishing mutual respect is the key to reconciliation and conflict resolution. This how ever is not an easy task as the relationship conflict is going to be fuelled by anger and a desire to retaliate. Therefore a catalyst is necessary to encourage this mutual respect, and the catalyst is often in the shape of a mutual friend or family member who is respected by both partners. This is also the reason why people choose to attend marriage counseling, as the marriage counselor will then act as the catalyst to promote mutual respect. The person that acts as the catalyst will need to remain calm and un-phased by what is being discussed in order to defuse the situation.

Reciprocal Persuasion

Our own behavior often dictates the behavior that is reciprocated by others. Therefore by demonstrating a willingness to forgive and forget it should become easier for a partner to also do the same. The psychologists call this Reciprocal Persuasion.

Be Humble

Arrogance and self-righteous behavior only serves to fuel an argument further. For this reason, to diffuse a conflict it is often necessary to adopt a self-deprecating behavior by sharing something about oneself that is not flattering, and in doing so demonstrating ones honesty and trust.


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