Marriage Counseling - making up

Research has shown that most couples often end up arguing over little things, not because the subject is of any importance, but because the anger takes over and winning the argument becomes a question of pride. This "pride" in not being the looser is the sub-conscious reason why arguments over little things becomes heated and often gets out of control. Its therefore important that in order to resolve an argument based on Pride, that you learn to let go of the need to be right.

When you have had a falling out with your partner, it can often become difficult for your partner to open themselves up to you enough for you to explain how sorry you are about the fight. It may therefore be useful to use a close friend or relative of your partner to relay how sorry you feel about the break up and how much you respect your estranged partner. The psychology behind using a third party person to relay the message is that your partner would not be as quick to be dismissive towards what you have to say.

If you demonstrate to your partner that you are willing to forgive and forget then it should become easier for your partner to do the same. The psychologists call this Reciprocal Persuasion.

If you are trying to make up with your partner, it is important that you do not try to dominate the conversation. You have to remember that your partner is probably feeling threatened after an argument, therefore, the last thing you really should be doing is to dominate the conversation for making up. Ideally, self-deprecating behavior is the best approach. Try sharing something about your feelings that isn't flattering, to show honesty and trust.