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The author of the blockbuster Men Are From Mars, Women Are from Venus, Gray here attempts to explain how couples can have great sex and keep romance alive in a long-term, monogamous relationship. There is not much left to the imagination as Gray explains exactly what men and women should say and not say, what they should do, touch, lick, and more. As in his earlier books, Gray's metaphors lack grace, and his writing is far from polished. If you can see past his silly language, however, much of his advice is quite good. Although the explicitness of his sexual descriptions may bother some, and his poor writing skills may bother others, Gray's book is a reasonable and useful title. And given his huge popularity, public libraries should have this on their shelves when he starts appearing on the talk shows. [With 2.6 million hardcovers of Gray's Men Are from Mars... in print, HarperCollins will release a Spanish-language edition of that book under their HarperLibros line this month.-Ed.]-Elizabeth Caulfield Felt, Washington State Univ., Pullma. --Elizabeth Caulfield Felt, Washington State Univ., Pullman

Reviews

"This book was extremely helpful, I believe more so for men than from women. Men are often confused as to what a woman wants in a relationship, especially when it comes to sex, and as a result, the majority of men turn out be very poor lovers. This book is a godsend - it tells men exactly some of the things theyre doing wrong, what a woman really means when she says something, and says things that women have tried to say to men but are unable to articulate it well or are too embarrassed to express it. I dont necessarily agree with it 100 percent, nobody should, and it wont help heal every sexual dysfunction a person may have, but, for the average person, this book is great. "

"Sex is a subject that is not often talked about among couples. Unfortunately, it is also an area that accounts for a large chunk of divorces. Women expect men to be mind-readers, intuitively knowing just what to do to bring them pleasure. Men assume that they should know what to do already, as if males are born as sex experts. (Not!) What often results is great expectations met with disppointment, and thwarted, hit-and-miss attempts at intimacy and sexual fulfillment. With this book by Dr. John Gray, sex doesn't have to be a frustrating and hurtful guessing game. Gray explores areas such as sexual versus emotional fulfillment, taking responsibility for your own pleasure, how to increase desire and rekindle passion, a women's need to relax, the joy of quickies, passionate monogamy, and home-cooked sex versus gourmet sex. Both men and women are given maps into the murky terrain of the other's attitudes and expectations about sex, which will no doubt result in a sigh of relief by many. At last, someone understands! While providing accurate maps, though, Gray acknowledges that every person (especially women!) are unique, and as such, have unique desires, likes, and dislikes. When discussing giving a man positive direction, Gray points out that some women do not realize a man's sensivitity in this area. Men want to please their women, so certain comments can feel like rejection to a man, which will bring an instant chill to intimacy. Here are 10 sexual turnoffs outlined by Gray:

• "You're not doing it right."
• "I don't like that."
• "Ouch! That hurts!"
• "Don't touch me like that."
• "That tickles."
• "Not like that."
• "Not yet."
• "Not there."
• "I'm not ready."
• "What are you doing?"

"Dr. Gray is an inspiration to any couple having intimacy issues. From a female perspective it is amazing that he has captured the essence of what a female truly needs from her partner and has put it into words that our partners can understand. Also from a female perspective, it is a relief to be able to hear what a man needs and get a translation of it into real loving terms that I can relate to. Just because a man wants sex, doesn't mean that it is not related to him loving me. This book is fantastic. "

"John Gray is a great writer and a brilliant therapist. His books on Mars & Venus are extremely solid and well written and very entertaining. I just get the feeling that the doctor could use a dose of his own medicine in the bedroom dept. -- if you've ever seen him live you know what I mean. "

"Every man and woman should read this book. Very good and interesting to read. I have already recomended it to everyone I know. You learn so much about the opposite sex and about youself. "

"Men and women have equal sex drives,deal with it!What makes us different is the constant shaming women get when they do indeed act sexual.If you have the word "slut" hanging over your head constantly it just might make you want to cling to romance in order to appear less sexual than a man.Gray generalizes,and not only generalizes but makes women out to be sexless objects there to please men and not themselves. He writes as though he has a great fear of men and women being equal in sex drive.His mysogamist views of women are disgusting! In short what he says is,the woman only has to look nice for the man,and the man has to romance,begg and trick women into bed because women in his mind really don't want or need sex. "