Marriage counseling - Perfectionist

Living with a perfectionist person can often be hard, as they tend to set their expectations far too high, be it on themselves or others. Although living with a perfectionist person can seem difficult for some people for others they make the perfect partner. Perfectionism affects most people to some degree, but at its most extreme, it can be dangerous and even deadly due to the health implications associated with this behavior. These include Depression, Anxiety, Social Phobias, Eating Disorders and in extreme cases even suicide.

What causes a person to become a Perfectionist?

Research carried out by University of Florida has shown that to a perfectionist, the absence of praise is often even seen as criticism. This often stems from childhood where a gifted child is over praised or rewarded solely for achievements, which then in turn makes the child grow up to associate love with high performance. Once seeded, perfectionism in adulthood is then fed by the modern society. This association between performance and love is also reflected in the perfectionist's relationships and marriage. The problem with associating high performance with love, as most perfectionists do, is that when a partner fails to meet the expectations placed upon them, this innate association between love and performance will kick in and make the perfectionist person think there is no love in the relationship. What perfectionist people need to realise is that they have a highly unrealistic standard that very few people can measure up to. The problem with being married to a perfectionist person is that the other partner often tries to hide mistakes to avoid criticism, which inevitably results in feelings of miss-trust between the couple. Perfectionist people also tend to be too rigid with their life to have fun or indulge in any hobby for fear of not being the absolute best. For these reasons it is vital for a perfectionist person to seek marriage counseling in order to over come these shortfalls.

People need to understand that the term Perfectionist is a generic term describing three types of Perfectionism, these are:

Self-oriented Perfectionist

Self-oriented perfectionist people tend to have unusually high expectations and standards of themselves.

Other-oriented Perfectionist

Other-oriented perfectionist people tend to project their unusually high standards and expectations on other people, which can be detrimental to a relationship or marriage.

Socially Perfectionist

Socially Perfectionist people feel a need to be perfect because of unreasonable pressures placed on them by other people. Being married to a perfectionist person often makes the other partner a Socially Perfectionist them self.

Marriage counseling information designed to help guide couples in choosing a suitable therapist. There are currently a number of different approaches to therapy and as such it is important for a couple to choose the approach that they feel is the suitable.

This Divorce Checklist will provide couples with a list of the more important things to consider. However, it is important to point out that divorce should only be considered as a last resort, and only when all other avenues of reconciliation have been explored and been unable to help.

Understand the effects of divorce on children and what they may be feeling. Also, what the parents should be doing to help the children cope with the divorce.

PEYMA's Relationship Questionnaire is desinged to provide Relationship Counseling without a need to attend any counseling sessions. This approach is able to provide an insight into the root cause of a behavioural conflict, as well as, how to behave in order to be more compatible.

Signs of Infidelity can help expose a relationship betrayal before it gets too involved, therefore improving the chances of recovery. Identifying these signs correctly is vital as any misjudgement can in itself lead to marital disputes and feelings of mistrust.

Recovering from infidelity is not going to be easy, but an experienced therapist can help with overcoming this affliction. It is important to recognise that a person will never forget what has taken place, but it is possible to rebuild the trust and move on.