Infidelity - advice to win back your partner

To win back your partner

Although every person is an individual, and as such, every person reacts differently to their partner's behavior, research has shown that there are a few behaviors that normally improve the chances of winning back a cheating partner. These include:

• Don't plead for your partner to come back

  It is important that your partner understands that they will not find anyone better. After all, its human nature to look for the "best" partner we can find. By pleading for your partner to come back to you, you are portraying someone weak and "needy".

• Find out the cause of your partner's infidelity

  Try to find out the real reason why your partner committed infidelity. If the reason was your behavior then make a conscious effort to change. Let your partner see that you have changed. Remember, the change must not be to just get him back, it must be a permanent thing.

• Don't attack, criticize or get irate

  Its normal to feel angry towards your partner, but, by "attacking" your partner you will only push your partner away. This does not mean you should remain indifferent and calm, it just means you need to portray an image that it is completely your partner who needs to come after you and beg for forgiveness. Don't portray a "weak" personality no matter how much you are hurting.

• Don't sit at home alone

  NEVER give the impression to your partner that you are nothing without them. If your partner feels you are having fun without them, even if you are not, they will instinctively feel they are loosing out on fun. Even if you are in, make sure your partner thinks you are out with friends.

• Never get the children, friends or family involved

  By involving the kids, friends and family involved you are making it impossible for your partner to come back. Do not humiliate your partner into coming back, the chances are they will end up resenting you.

• Don't humiliate your partner publicly

  Your partner will again end up resenting you. This is guaranteed recipe for pushing them further away.

• Don't constantly txt, email or phone them

  Your partner expects you to do this, resist the temptation. Remember, you have to portray that your life is actually more fun and lively without them. By portraying an image that you are completely indifferent (until they want to come back to you), then it makes them curious about the why and how!

Remember, winning your partner back may take a few months or sometimes years, but, you need to understand that if you feel your partner is never coming back, then its important that you let go and get on with your normal life. By living in the past you are only stopping yourself from meeting someone even better.