Marriage Counseling - Coping with mistakes

• Admit you were wrong

  The first step is to knowledge that you made a mistake and that you were wrong. This is much harder to do than it sounds as people have to not only face the consequences of their mistake, but to also acknowledge that what they are going throw was no one else fault but themselves. However, this is important to acknowledge as its the first step of learning not to make the same mistake again, if possible. Accepting blame is always difficult but by being overly defensive, you are likely to be making the same mistakes over and over again. With regards to marital conflicts, taking responsibility and "owning up to" any failures is hugely reassuring for your partner. It makes them see you as a fair and an objective person.

• What you did is not who you are!

  Its important to recognise that everyone makes mistakes. One mistake does not make you a bad person. There is a common misconception that what you do dictates who you are. This is what most of us feel inside. But the reality is that its not what you do that dictates who you are, but the accumulation of your actions over a period of time that dictates who you are. By recognising this, it becomes easier to own up to any mistakes we have made.

• Be objective

  When faced with what we think is a serious error in judgment, it is important to take a step back and look at it objectively. Its important also not to let emotions cloud your judgment of how serious is the crisis you are faced with. Its also important to think, how much worse could the crisis have been. This will give you a sense of perspective that often what we think is a "crisis" is in fact only our perception of the situation. Things can always be worse! It then helps you to see the problem in a more positive light.

• Think Positive

  As we know, everyone makes mistakes. But it is important to keep a positive perspective on the situation and actually look for, and focus on, something positive that has come from this (even if it is a "lesson learned"). It is a proven fact that under extreme stress, it becomes harder to make an objective assessment of the situation. It is therefore important to reduce the amount of stress you feel by consciously forcing yourself to think positive. This positive out look will also help you to deal with mistake far more easily than you think.

Discover how to marriage counseling can help you with making up