Marriage counseling is a process by which couples can discuss their relationship concerns with a qualified marriage counselor. The effectiveness of a marriage counseling session depends on how soon you attend the marriage counseling sessions and the type of marriage counseling you choose. There are a number of different approaches and types of marriage counseling sessions:
Private Marriage Counseling Sessions
These are private sessions where couples and the counselor are alone in a room and the counselor will discuss any relationship disputes between the couple. In order for the counselor to determine the root cause of any relationship disputes, the counselor would:
- Determine the role of each partner in the relationship.
- Determine the interaction between the couple.
- Discuss any specific issues the couple may have.
- Based on the couple's role and interaction model, the counselor will then
usually make recommendations in how to resolve any disputes.
Pros: This is the most popular and effective approach to marriage counseling. Its private and confidential.
Cons: It can be very expensive as couples will normally have to attend
weeks, months and sometimes even years of therapy before disputes
can be resolved. It is important that couples understand that
marriage counseling is only effective if both partners genuinely
want to make their relationship work. For this reason, the sooner
you attend a counseling session, the more your chances of success.
Group therapy sessions
This approach to marriage counseling is usually rare and involves a number of couples with relationship disputes getting together and discussing their problems openly in front of each other. A qualified relationship counselor is present to guide the couples in a constructive discussion and to provide advice and guidance. The approach is as follows:
- The marriage counselor and the couples normally sit in circle facing each other.
- The marriage counselor starts the session by setting down some ground rules on how the session should be conducted.
- Each couple will then in turn discuss their relationship disputes in front of the others.
- The group are allowed to contribute and provide personal advice during the session.
- The counselor may either use the session purely to help couples benefit from each other's experiences, or, use some form of physical activity to help re-enforce a point.
Pros: This approach can be VERY effective as the couples will benefit from each other's experiences. The couples often become very good friends after these sessions as they learn to share their problems and feelings in an open forum.
Cons: As with any effective marriage counseling session, it can be expensive as couples would need to attend weeks, months and sometimes years of counseling.
Telephone counseling sessions
This approach involves couples phoning a marriage counselor and discussing
any specific issues with the counselor. It is important that couples
understand that this type of counseling are more intended as a
relationship advice for a specific issue, rather than a general
marriage counseling session to help couples achieve a better interaction.
Pros: This approach is perfect if the couple are not able to attend regular counseling sessions and would like to discuss a specific issue.
Cons: The advice that the counselor provides will be based on the information the couples provide him/ her during the phone call. This makes the approach, to some extent, subjective. This is because 9/10 times, only one partner tends to phone the counselor which means the counselor will provide advice based on only one partner's opinion.
Online "marriage counseling" sessions
This approach involves couples using email, MSN, Internet Chat room etc. to
contact a marriage counselor regarding a specific issue. Although
this approach is often advertised as "marriage Counseling", it
is important that couples are not fooled into thinking they are
paying for "marriage counseling". Online marriage counseling is
only designed to discuss specific relationship issues and disputes
and is not intended to replace marriage counseling sessions.
Pros: This approach is perfect if the couple are not able to attend regular counseling sessions and would like to discuss a specific issue.
Cons: The advice that the counselor provides is even more subjective than a Telephone Counseling Session. This is because experienced counselors are trained to read body language, tone of voice and people's emotions before providing advice (unless you use PEYMA's unique approach to marriage counseling, which does not rely on any of these factors). The Online Counseling deprives the counselor of all these skills. As such the counselor is unable to provide advice based on these factors. It is important that couples also understand that at best this approach is highly subjective, and at worst, the couple could be e-mailing and unqualified, inexperienced person with an e-mail account and a website.
PEYMA's marriage counseling
PEYMA has spent many years researching the most common questions experienced
counselors would ask to determine the behavioral model of each
partner and based on this, their interaction model. This research
has consequently given birth to a unique and VERY effective approach
to marriage counseling, one which will determine the root cause
of most behavioral disputes without couples having to attend a
single counseling session. This has been made possible by asking
the couples to complete a behavior questionnaire (based on the
questions an experienced counselor would ask over a number of
counseling sessions) which is then sent to one of our counselors
for analysis. For more information please see Relationship
Counseling
Pros: This approach is more effective and accurate in determining the root cause of most marital disputes than couples attending marriage counseling sessions. This approach is also perfect for couples who may prefer not to attend counseling sessions (for financial, geographical or cultural reasons).
Cons: This approach does require couples wanting to resolve their relationship disputes. The counselor can produce a report explaining exactly why the couples are facing a relationship dispute and what they should do to resolve them, however, it is up to the couples to put these recommendations into practice.
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