Marriage Counseling - Relationship Advice

The following is an example of one such Relationship Advice enquiry:

"my girlfriend of 6 months has just had an abortion which she wanted and i didnt. i have told her that i will support her the best i can. she asked me to move out so i agreed she only wants me to see her when she says. the problem is i can not stop texting and ringing her when im not with her. i have told her on many occasions that i love her , she has told me that back but other times she says she hates me what can i do to put our relationship back on the right track. i dont want to loose her or her baby of 6 months which is not mine. please help "

The Relationship Advice provided by PEYMA:

Let me start by explaining that in almost every case, a woman feels guilt after an abortion. Right now she is feeling guilt and I would probably bet, even remorse, for what she has done. What you need to understand is that people react to guilt and "self-loathing" in different ways. Specially if she has a six months old baby. Which means she is feeling highly emotional and stressed anyway. she must be under A LOT of emotional pressure right now. The abortion was just the last straw. The reason you can't stop txting her is because you can probably sense she is feeling in pain. Because you are a caring person by nature, your natural reaction is to "run" to her aid, but she is pushing you away. This must be killing you right now! So what should you do? Well, being caring is wonderful, however, the down side of a caring personality is that the person can be "seen" as lacking dynamism. What you need to understand is that women sometimes want a guy that is spontaneous , wild and dynamic (to some extent, the "bad" boy). So my recommendation is for you not to text her or call her for a week, in that time try to find something fun and exciting for you two to do together. After the week, give her a call (you must sound really happy and fun) and ask her to come away with you to do this fun thing you have organised. This has three effects: 1) It stops her thinking about the abortion and punishing herself for it. 2) It shows her that you are a wild exciting person to be with. 3) If she has a six months old baby, I pretty much guarantee she is dying to get a break from constantly changing nappies and feeding the baby.

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(Understanding behaviors in a relationship: Marriage counseling - relationship behavior)

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